The Power of Choice

You don't have to jump out of airplanes, get sick, or become pregnant to experience this powerful change in perspective. In your everyday activities, listen to how images of passivity and powerlessness are created by your negative self-talk: "I have to work through lunch; I have to get gas for the car; I have to go to the office party." Exercising your power of choice will give you the opportunity to redirect toward constructive effort the energy formerly blocked by feelings of victimhood and resistance.



Are you willing to live with the consequences of not doing these things? how much freer would you feel if you made a clear decision about any of these tasks? You do have a choice. You don't have to want to do the task, nor do you have to love it. But if you prefer it to the consequences of not doing it, you can decide to commit to it wholehearedly.



Since you have made a mature commitment to the task, rather than arguing against it, you might as well be slef-nurturing enough to make it as pleasant as possible. Even when the choices are rotten ones, you can exercise your power of choice and learn to embrace the path that makes the most sense to you. And precisely because you have chosen to do it, it becomes less difficult, less painful, and more quickly accomplished. Whenever you catch yourself losing motivation on a project, look for the implicit "have to" in your thinking and make a decision at that moment to embrace the path-as it is, not the way you think it should be - or let go of it. It's your choice.



~ Neil Fiore, Ph.D.

How to Talk to Yourself

+ What you choose to do
+ When you choose to do it
+ Where you choose to start it

As you begin to speak to yourself in a language that focuses on results rather than blame, on choice rather than have to, on what is rather than what you think should be, you will find that your body and mind cooperate by providing a level of positive energy (that is without stress or anxiety) free from the unnecessary struggles of the past and negative comparisons with the future.

One needs to know how to catch the early signs of depression about lost opportunities, reminding himself to say, "Yes, they are in the past. Too bad; nothing I can do now about that. But what can I do now?" One then should practice rapidly turning his attention toward one, small corrective step he could take now. He needs to learn to turn the stuck energy and worry about future "should's" into constructive effort by asking himself, "When is the next time I can start working toward that goal?" By talking to himself in ways that disrupte one's old patterns, he will become very efficient in diverting self-criticism and depression about the impossible toward something constructive that he could accomplish.

To avoid getting stuck in thoughts about the past or the future, you will want to start changing your language. To become more productive and efficient, you'll want to clearly communicate to yourslef what you choose to do, and when and where you will carry out your commitment to start.